Repercussions

There seems an absolute order in what follows such an attack of our cozy everydays. A response that seems so natural that it appears to be innate, a biological reaction to the exceptional. An exception however, it isn’t, but this is impossible to admit. Everybody runs to their phones, turns on the TV, as if information from the outside world is the only cure for what is going on inside you. In conjuncture you try to come up with people that might be closest to the blast. You call…the phone is silent. Again and again you try, till the phone relieves your tension with the sound of a free line. In a parallelogram of your outside action, your inside unfolds.

No shock, no panic, just numbness and incomprehension. Pressure is lingering in your chest, fed by disgust and sorrow. A disgust fed by the methods that are adopted to steer our politics, sorrow fed by the fact that this is not a novel occurrence to this part of the world. Your head is struck with emptiness; failing to understand the things your eyes see flickers over the TV screen. As time passes, the sorrow turns into anger. The anger creeps from your chest into you neck and shoulders, your muscles tense and it feels like you carrying the physical weight of the lifeless bodies that are left behind by the attack. Your colleague tells a joke to empty the situation of its graveness. Your mouth forms a smile, its corners fighting the very same weight that weights on your shoulders. Your head gains back its control over the world, just to strike your body with more anger and outrage. And then the ultimate feeling of this part of the world strikes you, IMPOTENCE!!!